Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Posted on August 7, 2009 - by Patrick

Sin isn’t the point (or take a lesson from Bob)

*Written and posted Tuesday, February 3, 2009

This blog has taken several months to process to the point where I feel comfortable sitting down to write. It is pieced together from papers

that I have written for school, conversations that I’ve had, experiences that I’ve found myself in and a overall paradigm shift on how I view Christian spirituality.

I sit now in a dark green, partially warn-in chair at a half filled Starbucks on Grand Avenue in Diamond Bar, California. I sip my soy grande, extra hot, triple cappuccino and I listen to the comforting sounds of the espresso maker over a Neil Diamond track which is being played overhead.

“What have you learned in the past year since you’ve began to traveled so much,” my friend Kyle asked one night while I was home visiting. It was this question which was asked while I was sitting in a pub on the Main Street of Dubuque on a cold night in early January that really opened up my soul to explore such a deep and complicated issue. I take a sip of my Fat Tire to give my self a moment to properly formulate a articulate and honest answer.

“I’ve learned grace,” I said setting my luke warm beer down on the pub table. “I’ve learned that no matter what part of the country I’m in, no matter what the local economy looks like or an individuals social status, people need grace and hope.”

Some where along the way, my own brokenness has enabled me to see that no matter what the socioeconomic status of an individual appears to be, deep down there is a disconnect from truth, from hope.

Let me back up for a moment. In order to talk about hope, grace and truth I want to speak for a moment on a more … bleak and depressing topic.

Sin.

The following questions I’ve studied, lost sleep over and processed for months now:

1. What is sin?
2. Why is said sin so bad?
3. What is atonement? What is it’s role in my life?

Simple questions for even the most elementary of Christians. However I think there is more going on with the idea of sin than we might realize.

Here is how I think most of us view the concept of sin.

Meet Bob.

Bob has a good life, he has a good wife (Jane), smart kids (Chris and Sarah) and drives a new sleek black Prious.

Bob loves Major League Baseball, golf on the weekends and shooting pool with his co-workers every Friday after work.

One day while at the bar, Bob turns around from ordering a beer and bumps into a tall blond in a red dress. Bob looks up from the cold beer which is running down his hand and shirt and locks eyes with this stunning work of creation.

Bob is caught in a moment of lust, but turns away and sheepishly looks the other way.

“It’s okay,” the blond in the red-dress assures him. “My name is Veronica, and you are?”

Bob awkwardly gives his name begins a conversation. After a while his nervousness fades and he slips his hand into his pocket and pulls off his scratched 12 year old wedding band.

The next thing you know, Veronica is on his arm on the way out to the sleek, black Prius and sits in the passenger seat normally reserved for his wife, first love and the mother of his two children.

Bob is what we call, toast.

Let’s end the story right there because the end is irrelevant. Whether Bob engages in sex or not is not necessary to understand the gravity of Bob’s mistake and the consequences Bob will have to face later on.

Let me ask a few simple questions help you track with where I’m going.

1. What is going to happen that night when Bob pulls into the driveway, opens the door and faces his wife of 12 years.
2. Whether he tells his wife or doesn’t – what affect will this have on his marriage?
3. How will this affect his kids?
4. Will he do it again, will it be easier to go back for more or to meet another women?

Let’s deviate from Bob and his adultery for a moment and talk more frankly shall we.

What is sin? Why is it so bad? For most of us, we hold a “pre-atoned view” of sin.

For most of us, we view sin as a law broken, a rule ignored, a mistake, a mess up, blowing it, etc. But sin goes far deeper and is far worse than a rule broken.

I am going to say something that is going to make all your theological hairs on the back of your head stand on end.

Sin isn’t the point.

Yeah you read that right. Sin isn’t the point. The rule isn’t the point. In fact, if you hold worldview based in Christian framework, sin isn’t an issue anymore.

Sin is forgiven.

But as many of us have learned all to well, forgiveness is not equal to an escape from consequence.

Let me unpack this further. My friend Andrew invited me over to watch the Super Bowl this past Sunday. I had a great time. I consider Andrew a great friend, however let’s say for a moment that when I went over and I saw a Twenty dollar bill sitting on the kitchen table. This money was to go to his sponsor child in Tanzania. I decided that I needed the twenty dollars more than the starving African child and so I take it and slip it into my jeans.

Later that night I leave and I come to work the next day. Andrew stops me in the hallway and asks me if I remember seeing it. I say no and he calls my bluff. He said he saw me take the money and put it in my back pocket.

Shame on me. (By the way, this hypothetical)

I apologize and he forgives me, I even give him back the money. He says all is forgotten.
But is that truly the end? Do you think Andrew, or Andrew’s wife will be apt to invite me over again?

Maybe, maybe not. But most likely not, and even if they do, they will hide their valuables before I come over and rightly so.

Will they love me less? No, not in the biblical sense of the word anyway.

If it is true that sin has been taken care of by Jesus on the Cross. If it is true that our sins are atoned for not by our merits but by the blood shed by a man who offered his own life has a perfect sacrifice. If all that is true, the rule broken is no longer the point.

The point to this thing, the reason why sin, is well…sin. The reason why God hates sin so much, is because of one relatively short word.

Relationships.

When you sin, there is more going on then you just breaking a rule. This isn’t kindergarten. There isn’t a laminated poster in heaven with your name on it. God isn’t there watching you, waiting to open the cap to his red dry erase pen so he can put a check by your name. Even if there was, your checks would be wiped clean.

Sin is more like you are throwing a rock into a still lake and causing a damaging ripple affect on all of your relationships. Your relationship with your wife, your kids, your friends, your neighbors and even God.

One of my favorite places to walk around and learn about people is West Hollywood in LA. I love it down there. You have such a mosaic of diversity, it’s like an epicenter of culture and humanity all in a few short blocks. On Saturday nights if you walk on Hollywood Boulevard about 9pm you’ll see the same group of people with the same signs protesting behavior with an unattractive home made sign. There is a lot of shouting and a lot of emotion.

The men and women who do this miss the point, not because they are necessarily wrong about certain behaviors that they are condemning (even though they make up some of their own rules as well), they miss the point because they make the rules the point. They make the behavior the point. They make the sin the point.

The sin isn’t the point, relationships are the point.

Really if I can be totally honest for a moment. We need a new word for sin. Sin has a bunch of connotations that don’t line up with the true biblical definition of the word.

I think on some level people know they are sinful, they may not call it that, but they know that they are flawed deep down. How do they know this? Because their relationships are jacked up.

How can you tell how sinful you are? Take a look around at how many positive, life-giving relationships you have and are maintaining. Are you a joy to be around? Do people feel safe around you? Do people smile when you enter the room?

And I’m not just talking about shallow, surfacey, fun type relationships (even those matter as well), I’m talking about waking you up at 3am crying type of relationships. I’m talking about inviting you over to baby sit their precious first born infant type of relationship. The type of relationships that takes years to develop.

God hates sin because at sins core, sin destroys relationships.

For some reason we think that sin is a personal thing. That the rules that I break today, will only affect me tomorrow.

The reason why Bob’s story is such a travesty, isn’t because he broke a rule in the bible. The heartbreaking fact is that sooner or later, that ripple is going to hit the shore of his life — he will at some point in the future have to face it.

Here is the thing that I have learned this year of traveling. I need people for my own well-being, happiness and satisfaction. My soul craves connections with those on the outside. I need people to feel at home even though I am not sure where home is anymore.

I have traveled to New York City, Washington D.C., LA, San Diego, Phoenix, Las Vegas, Dallas, Kansas City, Salt Lake City, Chicago, Philadelphia, San Francisco and every where in between all in the past 12 months. Here is the thing that I’ve noticed; everyone has some of the same fears, insecurities and same uncertainties of their futures.

Rich, poor, black, white, mid-western farmer or Hollywood hipster — we all desire the same thing. We long…no need relationships in our lives. We are all compelled to connect with humanity, if for some, only for the briefest of moments.

The cool thing about this whole thing is there is something that Paul the Condemner turned Apostle referred to as “Charis” (khar’-ece) which literally means ‘unmerited, favor, joy, connection’.

Grace is something that I am learning more and more about. I mean we hear about this term all the time; however I don’t think we know the true implications of such a word, such a concept on our lives not only as believers but as people.

It is such a small word but it means so much. God has breathed Grace into moment after moment into every aspect of our lives. Whether you are Christian or Muslim, Jew or Atheist – the thing that gives us ability to stop and extend a hand to those in need is grace. The energy that gives us the strength to hold back that one thing, that one thing we just really want to say to someone who has been rude and has had a rough day is grace. The rag that wiped my transgressions from my life by the blood of Yahshua (Jesus) is Grace.

I call this Grace 360.

The same grace that God extends to me in my moment of weakness I then must extend to others.

The same grace that God has covered my life with, I must too cover the lives of those whom I connect with.

Grace is the mortar to which keeps relationships working, functional and fruitful.

Grace is doing the dishes for a roommate who forgot.

Grace is extending a dollar to a person in need.

Grace is standing up for those who have been beaten down, bruised and no longer have the energy to stand on their own.

Grace is looking past the flaws in others because we know how many flaws line the shallow walls of our own souls.

Grace having a conversation with someone about hope and truth because someone has that same conversation with us.

Grace is stepping into a friendship with those whom we fear, dislike and don’t relate with.
Grace being comfortable in our own skin.

The person I was five years, one year, six months ago is not the person I am today. What I believed a short time ago isn’t what I believe in this moment. My life, my relationships, my beliefs are constantly growing, being stretched, being tested by the circumstances that I find myself in daily.

I used to fear, dislike homosexuals – that is until I formed a deep and lasting friendship who was Gay.

I used to fight, argue and split-hairs over belief, theology and spirituality – that is until I have looked back at my footprints of my own spiritual journey.

One of the encounters that Jesus has in the scripture is a women who was “caught” in adultery. She was brought before Jesus to test the Rabbi to see if he would do what the Pharisee’s had thought the Torah had commanded him to do. They wanted to put Jesus in a corner where he had to choose Charis, (or Grace) over justice of sin. Could Jesus ignore the sin, doesn’t sin have to be dealt with they were essentially saying?

By the way, have you ever wondered where they Pharisee’s knew where to look to find a women who was … “more liberal in her sexual desires”. No real proof to anyway thing, just a thought.

It’s interesting to me what Jesus does in this moment. The pharisees give Jesus this ultimatum of stoning this women because of her behavior or ignoring the scripture. Jesus kneels down and draws in the sand and says the words that we all know, that have been echoed by even some of the most ill-religious people, “He who is without sin cast the first stone.”

With out looking up, he says to this to these men. And these men walk away leaving just the two of them. Which is also interesting.

Jesus then asks her, “Who is left to condemn you?” the woman must have sheepishly looked around, then at Jesus and said “No one, teacher, they have all left.”

Jesus proceeds says something amazing. Here it is, “Go then and sin no more.”

He extended his hand of grace by letting her walk away scott free for breaking an important Jewish law back in the 1st century. His only request; that she sins no more.

It’s interesting to me that the writers never mention anything about anyone defending the women. No one coming to her rescue. This is perhaps the devastating part of the story. We picture this skinny, filthy women standing there in tattered rags covered with the cloth of lawlessness and surrounded by the heavy air of condemnation.

And she is alone. Even after her accusers leave, she is all alone. However even in our most dark and broken moments, grace is still there.

Maybe the reason why Jesus wanted her to “Go and sin no more…” wasn’t because he was concerned about a law, a rule broken or what some religious leaders thought. He was concerned that she was all alone.

Sin leads always us to solitude.

Darkness.

The cave of our own thoughts.

Sin drives us away from love, connection, hope, our potential.

“But the one who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes.” 1 John 2:11

Grace leads us to the light.

Grace leads us out of the cave of solitude.

Grace pulls us forward into relationships and into a future that is abundant and full.

We need grace because we need people. We need people because God has wired us to be connected. Humanity is weaved together in a colorful blanket the size of eternity itself. To emerge from the darkness and to find ourselves surrounded by light is freedom at its maximum. To go, to be, to engage the world and leave an impact is our calling, our mission our choice.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness hasn’t overcome it…”

Sin isn’t the point.